The ‘K’ is not silent

On Rejection

Posted on 13. May, 2008 by dwight in Blog

or Ration vs. Emotion

I have lived a very sheltered life, I haven’t experienced much tragedy. Just remember that, because I want to keep this in the proper perspective.

Rejection is really rough.

My reason and my emotion generally get along pretty well. Sometimes my emotions decide to rebel against their rational overlords, but those rebellions are put down pretty quickly. Sometimes though, my emotions start to actually make me feel different. Like my stomach hurts just a little bit.

Whereas a hypothetical conversation before would be something like:

“I feel like you should go over there and do that”
“I think that would be a dumb idea.”
“oh… ok”,

now the conversation goes along about the same way, but after the emotions are dismissed, there is this dull ache.

The ache doesn’t listen to reason. Which is alright, except the ache seems to enjoy inviting the emotions back to hang out.

And the ache and the emotions kind of build off of each other.

I’ll be cooking and decide to use a little pepper and emotion decides to remind me of a fun little interchange I had about fresh pepper. Which, for no reason, hurts; it is a happy memory.

Or a scent will waft through the air while I’m practicing chipping reminding me of certain perfume. My arms feel really weak and I just want to sit down.

Like I said, I am a neophyte when it comes to pain and disappointment. I’m guessing that like many other things, I will get wiser/stronger/better through time and repetition.

I think that I’ve gotten a better understanding of what Job felt like, in an astronomically tiny way. When things seem shaken there is one foundation that does not move. Like Job said, “I know that my redeemer lives and at the last He will stand upon the earth.” Jesus, the redeemer and foundation, doesn’t necessarily make my feelings magically disappear. He just sits there and lets me hold onto Him while the storm rages. He engages me at a level beyond reason or emotion and there he comforts me.

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